Friday Randomness & The Weekend Agenda

• When I die, I want to be cremated and dumped somewhere cool.

• I have an overwhelming urge to get out of town for a few days.....I just have no idea where I want to go...

• I really have to stop answering my phone. It gets me in trouble every single time.

• My winter blues have started early. I'm pale and all this bulky (yet warm) clothing is making me feel like a hippo.

• Orange Fanta (from a fountain) is the BEST.

• I miss my Venezuelan... Where are you, Nico?

And, for the weekend agenda...

1. Car show with Dad or the grand opening of Gresham.

2. Football, laziness, more football, beer, even more football, cheese dip.

3. The beginning of Christmas shopping. UGH.

4. Eagerly anticipate news about my busted camera from Sony...

5. Throw away leftover Halloween candy. There are too many tiny pink Nerds buried in my couch!

6. Laundry---it's been 3 weeks and I'm running out of socks and underwear.

7. Wear flip flops for the last time... :(

8. Buy new socks. Every.single.pair I have has holes in them. FYI--I HATE wearing socks and shoes. I'm aggitated just thinking about it.

Staring at the Ceiling

I didn't sleep last night.

I went upstairs with the intent of going to bed early around 8:30. I washed my face, got in my jammies and sat in my bed balancing my checkbook and writing out a Christmas list.

My eyelids got heavy around 10, so I turned off the light and snuggled down under the covers. The sheets were just the right amount of cool and there was enough white noise to cover up any other noise. I wriggled my way onto my belly with my arms over my head and closed my eyes.

An hour later, the tingling started in my feet. It's almost like they went to sleep before I could and then the tingling was keeping me awake.

Then, just as swiftly as I had turned my brain off for the night, it switched itself back on...
I started thinking about my taxes, health insurance, my job situation and my friends, all the while, Paparazzi, by Lady Gaga played over and over in my head.


If I don't get some sleep soon, I'm going to lose my mind.

"Ohhh noooo, your relationship's all flat and juuuunk!"

It's been a little over a week since Matt drove away from the house after I broke up with him. I know I did the right thing and I know I did what was best for me, but I still feel guilty.

I know that I hurt him and unfortunately, there was no way of getting around that. When it's not right, it's not right. He so desperately wanted to be in love and I just happened to be there. I'm not trying to take anything away from myself, because frankly, I'm pretty awesome, but I will be even more awesome with the right person. I just couldn't give him everything he deserved and I'm not willing to make sacrifices for him. This, among other things, forced me to set him free...even though it was the last thing that he wanted.

I struggle to understand this phenomenon. He admitted that he knew it was over for me weeks ago, yet he still didn't want me to end it. He still acted surprised and he still cried. WHY? If he knew it was coming, why didn't he say something???

Ideally, the conversation should have taken about 15 minutes and ended with smiles...
"This isn't working out for either of us and we both deserve better."
"I agree. I've loved being with you, but I think there's someone out there better suited to me."
"I'm so glad we got to know each other and I hope we can continue to be friends."

THE END. Come on, People! Is it really so hard to amicably split? (I know, I know)

Then, on Saturday night, when the drunk wicked stepmother read my tarot cards, I pulled the Magician card. This basically says, "the one you're looking for? Yeah, he's imaginary---give it up." I have asked several people if I was out of line for breaking up with Matt... Everyone seems to agree that it was the right decision, but everyone also agrees that I have a habit of picking some real "winners". :P

So, my current dilemma is this....
I still have his tie. He left it at my house and I really don't want to have to talk to him.




I am SUCH an asshole.

Weekend Wrap-Up

1. First trip to Pugfest.

2. Molly was scared.

3. She made some new friends though---and begged lots of people for treats.

4. Got home just in time to watch Florida kick Georgia's pompous ass.

5. Put on Gemma Morrow outfit again.

6. Went to Drunk Wicked Stepmother's Halloween Bash.

7. "I would pee in your ass." Somehow this was supposed to be a compliment.

8. Wicked stepsister's boyfriend asked Dad if he wanted to cuddle and confessed having a major man crush on him.

9. Snuck away with Dad to catch college ball highlights.

10. Drunk Wicked Stepmother read tarot cards for her guests.

11. The girl who went before me pulled the Tower card. Apparently, this is bad.

12. Drunk Wicked Stepmother read my cards. No new information, but definitely interesting. I'm in for a long struggle, but I will win in the end. At least that's what I got from it... :P

13. Came home to find out that we had a whopping ONE trick-or-treater... Now all that candy is calling out to me... EAT ME!!

14. Football, shopping, True Lies, pug-snuggling.

Tonight, Mom and I are headed to Twisted Tavern to watch the Falcons on Monday Night Football. I have a very terrible feeling they are going to get stomped by the Saints... Perhaps an old friend will join us!

Friday Randomness & Weekend Agenda

The Randomness:

...I flirted with the cutest alterna-guy at the Starbucks drive-thru window. He had the coolest earrings and the ugliest truck...

...Suddenly, I'm getting really sick of watching TV...but I can't stop.

...I wish I was young enough to Trick-or-Treat still!

...there are hundreds of little pink Nerds in my couch cushions.

...edamame for dinner! YAY!

The Agenda: (in no particular order)

1. Begrudgingly go to work all day tomorrow.

2. Spend my Friday night on the couch---by. my. self. Praise Jeezus.

3. Pugfest at the Fairgrounds.

4. Halloween party at Dad's. I'm bringing back the Gemma Morrow get up. Makes me feel tough... I need more tough in my life.

5. Phone interview with stuffy marketing research company that is FAR AWAY. Boo.

6. Wait for Andrew to come home.

7. Watch Florida kick Georgia's ass.

8. Pray that the Falcons can bury the Saints.

9. Try not to be creeped out by the panda in that commercial.

"I know!"

My poor mother...

I have said this to her about 15 times already this morning. I really thought that was only something you said to your parents when you are 5 years old---just about the last time that you actually did know EVERYTHING. Sadly, it all goes downhill at 6 when you begin to realize that you don't actually know anything. The know-it-all syndrome returns in dangerous combination with Superman Syndrome when you're about 16 though.

The truth is, I don't know.

And I'm okay with that.

Kinda.

People scare me...

So, Andrew and I went to dinner as usual last night. We typically go on Tuesday nights, but since he's going to Mexico this week to cheat on me with another woman, we switched it to Monday...

We were talking about lots of things; Jesus freaks, marriage, car trouble, garbage disposals, you know...when we hear the woman behind us say to her two young daughters:


"You're the reason Mommy will never be able to get married."


I stopped mid-sentence and Andrew looks over my shoulder at her in horror. She didn't skip a beat, she continued ranting on about the little girls' manners and posture.

Let me back up a little bit---I NEVER heard those little girls say a word until this happened. There was no banging on my seat or standing up in the booth.

Later, we hear these words, drenched in sarcasm:


"I'm so glad I brought you guys tonight."


Again, Andrew and I sit with our jaws on the table as we hear her tell the girls that she leaves them alone in the house at night after they go to sleep. They sadly ask her if that's true and how she could do that to them and she says:


"I'm there when you wake up in the morning, aren't I? Get over it."


Perhaps I read too much into these things, but this is ABUSE. These little girls may not be too effected by this right now, but later in their lives, I can see this crippling their relationships with men and eventually with their own children.

I'm not a mom. I can't imagine the insane stress that comes along with being a SINGLE mom. I have so much respect for people who choose to be parents. But if you are a parent, you have a responsibility to keep your "grown up" issues to yourself. I don't think this mom was actually mad at her kids, but she took it out on them.

Andrew and I got our check and ran from the restaurant as quickly as we could...then said a little prayer for the futures of those girls sitting behind us...

Weekend Wrap-Up

I had a 3 day weekend, but it was only because I was sick on Friday... :P

1. Friday was nothing but watching movies and napping, as any day off from work should be. However, days off should not include a hacking cough, a fever and full body chills.

2. Woke up Saturday feeling much better (it could have been that I just really wanted to go to Mike & Rhea's Halloween bash)...

3. Bought clip-in hair and glue-on scars.

4. Made Mom give me a "titty-tat" with eyeliner. I wish she would draw more often---she's extremely talented.

5. Gave boyfriend the option to get out of going to the party because he really didn't want to go and I knew that.

6. He insisted on going.

7. I no longer have a boyfriend.

8. Did not sleep even a wink on Saturday night.

9. World Market with Mom on Sunday morning after a good greasy breakfast.

10. Bought first Christmas present! (It's only a stocking stuffer, but it's a step in the right direction!)

11. Slept through half of Minnesota/Pittsburgh game.

12. Hate Favre, but loved when he ran down the field to check on a receiver who took a hard hit.

13. I don't know where my Falcons went, but it wasn't to Dallas...

14. Bedtime phone call from Christina about Frankenstein cupcakes and Mini M&Ms.

Dinner with Andrew tonight before he leaves for Mexico to "cheat" on me with another woman... :) I look forward to tormenting him mercilessly for leaving me.

Template Gone Bad...

Photobucket got upset with me..... I tried to fix it to no avail.

So, here I am with the boring set up again. Maybe it's just what I needed---a clean slate, a fresh start. I refuse to be like many others who have deleted their blogs and moved somewhere else... I like that all my dirty laundry is still here at heatherleah.blogspot.com..... :)

If my head were not filled with snot right about now, I would write something interesting, but alas, I am sick...AGAIN. Faaaaaaahhhhkk. *sniffle*

Naptime!

Stacy's Fist

Ahhhh, lunch with Andrew was funny as usual...

The boy made a big mistake today. While discussing my abyssmal job situation, he mentioned that a friend of his might have some ideas. He called her and "introduced" us over the phone.

Here's kinda how it went...

"Hi, Stacey..., uh, nice to meet you..." (Rolls eyes at Andrew across the table)
"Yeah, hi Heather, nice to meet you too."
"Awwwwwwkkkkkwardddddd..." (Andrew turns red, "Maybe this wasn't a good idea.")
"I know, right?! So, you're looking for a job?"
"Yeah, I've got something temporary right now, but I need something where I can use my brain--you know, before Andrew drives me crazy and my brain turns to mush."
"Ha! I know EXACTLY what you mean. Email me your resume and I'll look into some things for you."
"Awesome. That would be so great. I really appreciate it!"
"So, how do you put up with him and his craziness...?"
"Well, we argue a lot." (Evil eye at innocent looking Andrew across the table.)
"Yeah, but that's your fault, right? It was always MY fault, so I'm assuming you have the same problem."
"Holy crap. I'm not insane! It ISN'T always me that starts the fights!" (Andrew closes his eyes, "This DEFINITELY wasn't a good idea.")

We say our goodbyes and promise to talk again soon.

I cross my arms and smile at him with crooked brows.

He slowly lowers his head to the table and sighs...